Who You Gonna Call? Stress Busters!

As we approach the next fifty plus days and begin the mad dash to Thanksgiving and Christmas, let's focus on maintaining some sanity in our lives and keeping the stress to a minimum.  Easier said than done, right?  Personally, I'm not sure why everyone is so worked up when entertaining during the holidays.  It's generally family only and if you can't be comfortable with your family, who can you be comfortable with?  Well, perhaps for some a trip to the dentist for a root canal might be more comfortable than spending the day with family, but you get the drift.

Whatever your schedule, it's just that - a schedule.  So mark it on your calendars.  I have found that I have always bitten off more than I could chew, but if you can visualize everything you need to do or places you have to go, you can see right away that there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything right and you must choose what's most important and learn to say no to a few invitations.

Learn to organize when you're hosting the meal.  I write out everything that needs to be done from the biggest task such as moving furniture or having the carpets cleaned to the most minute task of making ice.  Once the list is made, I then make a timeline of when each item needs to be accomplished.  This way, you don't wake up on the day of the party and realize there's a stain in the middle of your one and only tablecloth.

Keep it simple.  Attempt recipes that don't require Martha Stewart to be at your side.  I've learned to not panic.  At my bridal shower, I remember the ladies who made the dessert and when the desserts came out of the oven they hadn't quite set up and sort of crumbled on the plates.  They just scooped it up and added some ice cream and it was a sort of instant cobbler.  No one was the wiser and the dessert was a hit. 

Worse case scenario, learn to laugh.  My mother never lived down the time when, as a new bride, she accidentally coated the chicken in powdered sugar instead of flour.  It made for a great family story that was told for years.

Work in some time for yourself.  A half hour with your favorite book, a mid-afternoon nap, a bubble bath at the end of the evening with some candles before the day of the big event.  You are going to be the hostess.  Your guests, not your meal, not your decorations, not everything being perfect, are what is most important.  Only Norman Rockwell had the perfect Thanksgiving and that's because he painted it. 

Your guests should feel comfortable.  Don't force them to eat the appetisers and then yell when they've eaten too many and won't have room for the dinner.  If they're comfortable sitting after dinner and not helping with the dishes, well, you can sit at their house when the dishes are being washed at the next holiday.  If they are the type who want to do your dishes, but you're tired and would just prefer to sit and enjoy your company, go sit with your company and let them wash.  Don't feel guilty.

If you always host a particular holiday and are beginning to feel like you're being taken advantage of, get creative with doling out the duties.  A friend of mine has a job jar and all the kids had to draw a task from it.  It might be setting the table, filling the water glasses, helping with the dishes, etc.  At the beginning, they all grumbled, but over the years it became a way to lighten the load for the hostess plus a bonding experience as everyone worked side by side.

So let's summarize:

1. Learn to say no
2. Make a schedule
3. Organize
4. Keep it simple
5. Laugh
6. Make time for yourself
7. Get creative
8. Enjoy!

You've worked hard for many days and deserve to enjoy this moment. Isn't that why we gather together in the first place?

Growing Older Doesn't Have to Mean Growing Up

I'm still waiting to decide what I want to be when I grow up.  As a girl, my mother really tried to get me inspired to do different things.  She had me sign up to be a candy striper.  In case no one knows what that is, that's the girls who used to volunteer at the hospital and wore the red and white striped dresses.  It was generally duties such as passing out the mail, distributing the food trays, helping patients brush their hair.  Everyone wanted the job to pass out flowers in the nursery area so you could look at the babies.  I think my mom thought that would motivate me to become a nurse.  I knew this wasn't my gig because one patient I dumped chicken noodle soup down their chest when I was trying to feed them.  Another patient wanted a drink of water so I handed them the cup of water on their tray.  She takes a big gulp only to discover it was hot water for her tea.  Maybe they used candy stripers to inspire the patients to get well quicker and get the heck out of there!

Another job she landed me was as a corn detassler.  Farmers created different hybrids of feed corn by which rows they chose to detassle so the corn could cross breed.  I about gave the guy a heart attack when he went off for a moment only to come back and I had tired of waiting and started plucking off the tops.  "No! No!," he yelled.  Who knows?  Maybe I helped create a new hybrid that year.

I should have known I was in trouble when I couldn't decide between being a missionary or a go-go dancer.  One hates to limit their opportunities.  My first money making job was baby sitting.  Personally, I think the parents got taken.  I mean, what a gig to get paid to watch someones colored television (yes, I grew up only having a black and white television in my formative years), eat their food and read your Nancy Drew books once the the kids were asleep.  It was like four or five hours pay for one hour of work.

Other places of employment have been at KFC, a lumber company, a seed company, line work at a factory and a bank.  It wasn't until I moved to the Chicago area that life started turning around for me.  I had always been miffed when my mom didn't let me take a foreign language or art classes in high school.  She is a practical woman and insisted on business classes such as short hand, typing and accounting.  Perhaps had I taken the classes I wanted, life would be totally different.  Who's to know.  However, all those business classes paid off as it helped me get my foot in the door as a Gal Friday and from there job opportunities took off.

Now I have passed the age of fifty, and if I could enroll in school, I still don't know what I would want to be.  Perhaps Frank Sinatra knew best when he sang, "I Gotta Be Me." Maybe I don't have to "become" anything.  Perhaps there is confusion in thinking your job needs to be your passion.  I know for some this is true, however, we all can't pay the bills on dreaming of being an artist or a singer.  I know I would certainly go hungry.  Although with all this mid-life weight gain, that might not be a bad idea!

The light of retirement at the end of the tunnel is starting to shine.  The finish line is getting a little closer. I realize I can enjoy my passions in my spare time and in my future retirement.

Electronic Bookburning

I love books.  As a child, I read Nancy Drew.  I loved books about autism and schizophrenia.  I recently got an ipad.  Wasn't sure I wanted it, but found it's so easy getting any book you want.  I read two books while on vacation.  Then I realized I could get all the classics online free such as "Uncle Tom's Cabin", "Jane Eyre", etc.  So I loaded up all my paperbacks that I have been meaning to read and donated them to my local library.  Now I'm ready to give away all my cook books because I can look up any recipe while I'm cooking and prop up my ipad so it's easy to read.  While there will always be a few cherished books I'll not part with, I can't see having hard copies of books I'll only read once.

My concern is for the newspaper industry and book stores.  With the disappearance of books, it's as if we burned all the copies.  And my paranoid mind always thinks of conspiracy theories.  In the future, if all the books are gone, what happens if there's a government that bans access to books online?  Plus, my job is in the ink industry.  While I want to be green, ink is my green, literally.  When the post office raises rates, magazines and catalogs have to reduce their page count, or size or distribution list - a reduction occurs in ink.  If I stop buying hard copies of books, less ink is sold.  If I send evites instead of mailing invitations, card industries lose business and buy less ink.

Progress keeps moving on, but it can override tradition, nostalgia, jobs.  I will always love the smell of a new book and the feel of pages under my fingertips.  I like the look of books on bookshelves.  Technology is a wonderful tool, but I hope we all keep a balance of the future while holding on to a bit of the past.

Nowhere to Go

What's wrong with this picture?  Everyone is going somewhere except me!  Whatever the reason you can't get away, take a vacation where no one else can go but you - your own mind.

If you're in a metropolitan area, the choices are limitless.  Concerts, museums, shopping, the zoo.  However, I grew up in an area where none of these choices existed.  Where does one go in the middle of nowhere?  The local library is always nice, especially if you've been stressed.  It's quiet and you can lounge on a sofa and read a good book or just get caught up on newspapers or magazines.  Also many libraries have wonderful programs where people show slides and give a presentation of places they've gone, so you can live vicariously through their trips.

Weather permitting, a brisk walk for invigoration or a leisurely stroll to breathe deeply and enjoy the trees and the leaves is nice.  Or if you're like me, and let's me honest, you can be nosy and peak at how everyone has done their yards and get ideas for future landscaping or decorating.  If their drapes are open, you can see how your neighbors have decorated inside!

Churches have many wonderful programs such as plays or concerts.  Some churches also have women's ministries that offer advent programs to prepare mentally on how to enjoy the true spirit of the season in the midst of chaos.

My favorite activity will always be a movie.  From the time I was a kid watching "Bed Nobs and Broomsticks," or "The Incredible Mr. Limpet," I was fascinated of magical places to go.  Movies are a wonderful escape tactic.

For lack of time or my shortened attention span, it is sometimes difficult to concentrate on an entire book.  So grab a Reader's Digest and laugh at the funny stories or a Chicken Soup for the Soul book or take a moment to read the Christmas story in the Bible during advent season.  Churches also have small devotionals for free or Christian bookstores have wonderful choices of devotionals that are short, easy to read, but you walk away feeling inspired and refreshed.

Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, enjoy that moment to the fullest.  Feel blessed to be observing whatever it is that catches your eye.  Don't let the green-eyed monster steal your soul by envying someone else's plans.  Even if you have to work during a holiday, then let your mind reflect on moments of joy of seasons past to carry you through that day.  Especially for those of you who work at a hospital or similar institutions where work doesn't stop due to a holiday, know that families appreciate what you're doing for their loved ones.

Breathe in, breathe out, enjoy your holidays wherever you are!

Helpful Holiday Hints

This year more than ever, people are cutting back to get them through this recession.  Here are a few of my ideas to help you through the holiday.  When it comes to gift giving, every family has their own traditions. If you're feeling overwelmed with the buying, the wrapping and the expense of it all, suggest alternatives. Instead of each individual buying for everyone, have a grab bag with a suggested dollar amount. That way, each person is only buying one gift instead of several.

Most people will admit that we all have an over abundance of stuff in our homes and don't need more. A fun idea is a white elephant. There are all sorts of ideas of what a white elephant is, but I like where you look around your home for something funny that you've received in the past. Perhaps it's an obnoxious tie, the Billy Bass singing fish, slippers shaped like moose, you get the idea. When you play, you put numbers on slips of paper. If there's ten people, then put in ten slips numbered one through ten. The person who draws number one picks the first gift and opens it. The person who has number two can either pick a gift from the pile or take person number one's gift. Person number three now has two gifts to choose from or can pick one from the pile and on it goes. The person who draws the last number has the most choices. Not only does this game save you time in shopping and saves money, but it actually turns into a game and can make for a lot of laughs.

Perhaps you'd like your hard earned money to count for something important.  Charities are hurting for donations.  There are so many ways to give gifts to others instead of ourselves:  children of prisoners, orphanages, perhaps your own neighbors who are in dire straits during this tough economical time.  Food pantries are always in need of donations.  My friend would have her children pick out some of their own toys to donate for children their age.  Not only did someone get a toy, but it taught her children to think of others instead of focusing on themselves.  If you find yourself in a bit of a money jam, the gift of time is so precious.  There are PADS programs where you assemble meals, you could help out at a food kitchen serving meals, or at a food pantry distributing food to families in need.

Go green!  Wrap your presents in newspapers.  Or use boxes that are printed to look like wrapping paper and re-use them the next year.  I always save bows and use them over again.  If I receive a big package, I carefully unwrap it and cut away the edges where the tape was and re-roll it to use for a package in the future.  The gift bags are great to use over and over again.  Buy a real evergreen in a pot to decorate and then plant it in the spring.

Do things as a family such as going to a zoo and caroling to the animals or form a caroling group and sing throughout the neighborhood.  Many areas have holiday lights along with beautiful music to listen to as you drive slowly through the magical merriment.  If you find yourself far away from family and friends, put on your favorite carols and grab a blanket and a hot chocolate and have a relaxing afternoon.

May the wonder of the holidays carry you through this season!

US Postal Service

Ben Stein gave a commentary about the post office recently on CBS News Sunday Morning.  It brought back great memories of the joy of receiving letters from loved ones.  Letter writing has become a lost art.  Personally knowing your mailman was a wonderful relationship.  As a child, my mailman passed out bubble gum to all the kids during his Saturday delivery.  Poor guy would almost be mugged by neighborhood children racing to him.  Can you imagine parents even allowing their kids to accept gum from the mailman today?  Our times have definitely changed.

I was in agreement with most of Mr. Stein's comments until he got to the part that mailing a letter is cheap.  Why, it's only 44 cents.  He would be willing to pay a dollar to still have the privilege of using the postal system.    At Christmas, that would be $80 in postage.  Five bills a month times twelve months is another $60.  Birthday cards generally equal two a month so that comes to another $24.  So I'm already up to $164.  People are already pressed from all sides on gas, food, clothing, etc.  While I would hate to see the postal service go the wayside, I do believe that things can't always stay the same just because it's tradition.

The postal service shouldn't be shut down as that would only create thousands of people added to the unemployment list.  However, they need to make more changes to streamline.  I don't see it being a bad thing to stop Saturday delivery.  Or for those with mailboxes attached to their house, they should have to have a mailbox curbside instead.  Or more neighborhoods can have the one mail box on the corner with everyone's box combined.  Pensions shouldn't be changed when someone has counted on that for over thirty years of their career, but for new people starting their career, pensions should be changed.

All that being said, I truly hope this won't be an institution to go by the wayside.  I wish more people would rekindle this relationship.  I will forever keep the one and only letter I received from my father.  Not only his words, but his handwriting.  We can keep in touch via electronic communication, but to see words in script adds so much personality.  It's so much fun to receive cards on your birthday or anniversary.  Greeting cards during the holidays brighten my day.

Mr. Stein, I hope the price of a stamp doesn't go up to a dollar anytime soon, but I do hope we keep this wonderful institution open for a long time to come.

Yold at Fifty

I am yold.  That's somewhere in the middle of young and old.  Even five years ago I played laser tag with co-workers and went to a dance club and enjoyed both events.  Somewhere in the last five years, I feel that I have aged twenty years.

Not having had children, I lose track of where I should be on the maturity meter.  When I was forty-seven I was relating fairly well with people who were young enough to be my children.  And even though we have each aged five years, the gap grew so wide that I don't feel comfortable any more.  However, when one door closes another opens.  New friendships have blossomed.  Life is full of amazing opportunities for friendship.

Lately I'm panicking about everything I have yet to do.  I want to write a book, travel overseas, learn a foreign language, learn to play the piano, etc., etc., etc.  But I'm too tired to do anything.  By the time I am home from my job, just getting dinner together and a few odds and ends done before bed seems to be a monumental feat.  There is not enough time in the day to do everything.

One thing I am determined not to do is regret my past.  I will not focus on the entire list of goals not reached.  Instead, if I can just accomplish one thing that day, that's good.  I have to realize I have forged a strong marriage.  I worked at my one job for almost twenty years until I was laid off.  Now I have been at my current job for six years already.  While some people would view me and my husband as stuck in a rut, I prefer to look at it as being sure and steady.  We have a house that's paid off and no debt.  We are able to assist family in times of need.  We have good friendships.  A good neighborhood.  Loving family.

For now, I will write.  And thank God for everything He has blessed me with.  And breathe.

It's not the thighs that matter; it's the thought that counts!

I need to lose weight.  All success stories start with a plan.

Day 1 - Went to the mega store to buy a DVD and hand weights.  When did stores get so big?  You need a moving sidewalk to get around these stores.  That was a workout in itself.  Found the hand weights.  Carried them to car.

Day 2 - Unwrapped DVD.  First was the outer cellophane wrapper.  But it was so tight I couldn't get my fingernail under the edge of it even if I could see it, which I couldn't - CAUSE I'M OVER 50!  After much swearing and chipped nails, managed to remove wrapper.  Ready to workout.  Oops, found layer of tape on the edge.  Another chipped nail, and that tape now off.  Go to open DVD.  Nope, still MORE tape at top edge.  Isn't the outer seal enough?  Too frustrated to exercise; walked to freezer and ate ice cream.

Day 3 - Had to figure out the 2 remotes.  One turns on TV, the other the DVD player.  But the TV has to be reconfigured to accept viewing DVDs.  Hmm, which button to choose?  Had to dig out mat for floor.  Blow off inch of dust encasing mat.  Find tennis shoes.  Where are they?  Are they still called tennis shoes?  Gym shoes?  Running shoes?  More dust.  Where did I put the hand weights?  By the time I figure out TV, DVD player, remote controls and find gear, I realize I'm too tired, again, to exercise.

Day 4 - Went through closet to find old exercise clothes.  Put on stretch Nike pants.  I look like sausage in casing.  Remove stretch pants and find old pair of sweat pants and tee shirt.  Dog needs to go outside. Take her for quick walk while yelling the entire way for her to quit eating goose droppings.  Get dog back indoors.  She needs to eat.  Feed dog and decide to feed fish while I'm at it.  Start DVD.  Have to watch ten minutes of previews, medical instructions and introduction before actual program begins.  No buttons on remote to bypass all of this nonsense as DVD does not allow this.  Time to fix dinner before husband gets home from work.  After dinner, too full to exercise.

Day 5 - No more excuses; this is IT!  Start program.  Holy crap; this lady has no compassion.  Unfortunately I don't sweat so I feel like a pressure cooker ready to explode.  The jumping jacks alone winded me.  Why do I suddenly feel I need guidance with walking, running, jumping.  Kids do this for hours with a smile and my body parts are flapping in too many directions at one time.  Did you ever break a thermometer as a kid and watch the mercury and try to clean it up?  Harnessing my flying fat was kinda like containing mercury in one spot.

Day 6 and beyond - yes I did manage to go from Level 1 onto the final Level 3 and have begrudgingly continued to exercise.

Do I do it every day?  No.  Will I ever enjoy it?  Possibly.  While it has taken three months and I'm only down ten pounds, I have continued to see results.  It is encouraging to know I can still have success when I put my mind to it, which is a joyous feeling.

Technology Overload

Don't you miss a slower paced lifestyle?  Like sitting on the front porch, waving to the neighbors as they pass by.  While I realize that technology has given us freedom by making some chores faster, it seems it has also stripped us of our basic freedom of just being.

I'm exhausted having to constantly learn something new.  Whatever happened to just using a product without having to read an entire tome on how to operate it correctly?  I'm getting older and retain less (with the exception of water) and by the time I learn everything, the manufacturer has come out with an entirely new technology.  It's driving me crazy.  I can't even watch a movie without having someone with a PhD, my husband or a 5-year old nearby to operate the movie for me.
Now I have two controllers each with about 450 buttons.  I bet the original astronauts didn't have as many buttons to press. I have to make sure to use the washroom before I watch a movie because if I'm lucky enough to figure out which buttons to use to get the movie started, I can never seem to figure out which ones pause the movie.  What are all those buttons for?  I mean, come on, there's start, stop, pause, mute, channel changer and volume.  What are the other 873 buttons for?

The cartoon, "The Jetson's" must have been what prompted the invention of microwaves.  When Jiffy-Pop came out, I thought that was pretty neat, until our present day method. I can't wait 'til I'm eighty to see how it will be made then. I say they'll bio-engineer kernels that you put in your mouth and the heat of your body will cause each kernel to pop. No waste. When you're full, you put the rest of the kernels back in the jar until you're ready for them.  Still, there's nothing like the smell of popcorn on the range as you  move the pot back and forth over the flames to rupture those mouth-watering kernels of pleasure.

My iPhone is my lifeline to the world and yet what's wrong with this picture?  It's supposed keep us connected, but I see it pulling everyone apart.  You see ten kids together each on their phone talking to other people.  Why don't they talk with the people they're with or go be with the people they're talking to?  I get in an elevator packed with 50 people in a 4x4 space only to see everyone whip out their phones and opposable thumbs start pounding. People don't converse anymore face to face.  We call a company only to press numbers to get to information. I see people in lines at the store doing returns and never once look at the person at the cash register or ask how their day was.

Don't you miss the party line?  (No kids, that's not the congo line or the bunny hop that you do at a wedding.)  Ah, those were the days for true entertainment.  Soap operas couldn't give us as much as the party line could.  You just quietly lifted up that handset and listened to the neighbor to hear what was going on in their lives. 

If I ever need a human connection, I visit my mother and we go Wal-Marting.  Yes, it's become a verb.  We went to buy a couple of items and spent two hours talking to people she knew.  In the thirty years I've lived in my present town, I would venture to guess I haven't run into people I know more than ten times.   I really miss that small town feeling.

We have become a world in where if we can't call it, click it, or cook it in less than 9.3 seconds, we feel like we're losing time.  We are losing time; time with neighbors, co-workers, loved ones.  For one night a week let's put down our technology and tune in to each other.  And then perhaps, technology won't drive us nearly as crazy.