Accept Thyself

When thinking about creating a blog, I had so many ideas swimming through my head. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I could hardly fall asleep with all the wonderful tidbits I was impelled to share. It had to be funny, poignant, captivating.

What to share first? Childlessness, innovative ways to be green, menopause. But sad thoughts came, funny thoughts came, my gosh, this was making no sense. Thus, welcome to my world. I am 50 and I am no nearer to knowing what I want to do when I grow up than when I was 12.

About a year ago, I joined Facebook. At first, it was exciting. Re-discovering old connections. I would just sit and think of people whose paths I've crossed. I always used to wish I had a crystal ball just so I could see what people were up to. Not necessarily wanting to talk, just to see where they were. And then along came Facebook. Voile! Now you could find all those people you always wondered about.

However, it quickly became discouraging. Everyone was so successful. They had children, grandchildren, written books, travelled the world. And here I was playing games and wishing I could do all those things. Then I realized, "Hey, they're all sitting at their computers reading about everyone else." Suddenly I didn't feel so bad after all.

Why do I mention Facebook? While some of my Facebook friends are younger, there are those who are older, but many are nearer my age. After reading so many posts each day, I have come to the conclusion we are all searching. Making sense of our past, re-discovering our present, planning our future.

So on that note, perhaps I will write 50 suggestions on being a more successful 50. The first is, accept thyself. This is it baby, what mistakes have been made, have been made. Get over it. My friend's husband always said, "This ain't no dress rehearsal; this is the live performance."

Are we giving up? Heck no! As Popeye would say, "I yam who I yam."

This year I turned 50. Why is that such a corner-turning age? Probably because one has lived longer than the amount of time left to live. Unless, of course, you become one of the growing number of octogenarians.

What has been accomplished? Who's life have I inspired? Is it narcissistic to even feel the need to accomplish something to make life worthwhile? Never having had children, my saved treasures are pointless, such as the cast of my teeth during the braces era. Thought that would be great for a science project. The poetry I wrote as a young girl. My favorite Nancy Drew books. It all dies with me. So now I go through the house monthly and collect a bag of things to donate. I don't see the point in keeping all of this. Lately I have been reflecting a lot and hope to make some sense of my life.

So I have come up with Phooey on Phifty. It is time to become the fabulous person we have kept hidden inside for so long. How do we do that? That's to be determined in the course of this blog. For now, step one is, the realization we are no longer 20. Even if you have the body, it's just plain sad when to see a 50 year old with a thong crawling out the back of her pants. So embrace this decade. We'll discuss the wonderful stages we as woman encounter, yet persevere.

As Helen Reddy said, "I am woman; hear me roar!"