Friday, September 3, 2010

Reading Between the (Wavy) Lines

Lately I've noticed how manufacturers have made the print on everything so small.  I'm sure it's to save ink and keep costs down, but it sure makes it difficult to read ingredients when shopping.  When you're in your 20's, you could care less about the sodium content, but now that it's imperative to your health, you can't read the darn thing.

And clothing labels!  Again, why so small?  Our clothes have gone up at least two sizes, so you'd think the label could be increased in size.  I'm so scared I won't see the line dry only instructions and end up throwing the new bigger pants in the dryer and shrinking them back to the size I can no longer wear.

Medicines are also a struggle.  You take more of them and can't read the dosage.  Can you imagine your spouse taking your estrogen in place of his Viagra?  Not only could he not perform, he'd start to wonder why he's suddenly crying all the time on how he's not appreciated anymore or how none of the guys noticed his new shirt at work that day.

Deciding what prescription for glasses becomes more interesting as the eyes change.  I used to only need my glasses for distance.  This was convenient as I only had to wear them for night driving or at the mall.  But then when I sat down at a restaurant, I had to take them off to read the menu.  I lost two pair of glasses that way, because not only can you not read the menu with your glasses on, your memory is shot and you forget to put the glasses either back in your purse or on your face.  My husband bought me a beautiful chain from Brighton for my glasses, but I about punched him as I refused to have glasses hanging around my neck like a spinster.

One day I realized I couldn't read close up either.  Now this was good news because perhaps I could get bifocals and wouldn't have to worry about taking them off at a restaurant.  But at work I need to see the computer, so again, I would have to take them off.  My doctor suggested progressive lenses for all three distances, but my job consists of looking at the computer, while answering the phone, while looking up to approaching co-workers all simultaneously.  I think I'd be more woozy than if I rode the Tilt-A-Whirl at the fair.

I prefer to pluck my eyebrows, but now I need glasses to do it.  It's kind of like the Gift of the Magi.  You can't see the stray hairs without the lenses, however, you can't get to them with the glasses on.  At least I can get at the chin hairs.  Guess I'll have to the eyebrows waxed instead.

It used to be just reading where you noticed the lines a bit wavy.  Lately I can't even see people in pictures.  You're not sure if you're starting to get dementia when you don't recognize people, or if it's that we were so young in the picture that we're no longer recognizable or if you just need to borrow a magnifying glass and suddenly it's, "oh that's me in the photo!"

The silver lining in all of this is people are starting to look younger.  I'm not sure if it's that as I age those older than me no longer seem quite as old, or I just can't see the wrinkles any longer.  With so many articles telling us how to improve as we age, we can't help but get better and healthier.  My dad used to say, "Don't believe everything you read."  I think that's just 'cause he couldn't see the words.