Social Validation

A person's purpose is sometimes not realized until they are gone.  I realized this upon viewing the display cases at work.  At one point they sparkled.  The receptionist was constantly dusting and cleaning them.  Was it out of boredom?  Did she actually enjoy cleaning?  Now they are dusty; the glass foggy.  The items that sit upon them appear the same, but my eyes are drawn to their surroundings instead of the products displayed.

She has been gone for a while now, but the shelves made me remember her.  Questions, questions, questions.  You couldn't get past her without having to stop to talk.  Precious moments gone.  I long for those conversations now.  She was interested in each person and we seemed to be her family.

Another person I did not miss until they were gone was a guard who greeted everyone as they entered and departed the building.  He stood there.  He smiled.  He said hello.  My day started and ended with validation.  And then he died.  His replacement sits slouched; no eye contact.  I'm sure doing all the duties required for the job, but no greeting.

My father lived three hours away so I didn't have daily contact with him.  We only spoke once a week on the phone.  So how could his dying make me miss his qualities.  What were they?  When I called, he asked specific questions pertaining to me.  When visiting, he always had a dish in mind to make - like blueberry pancakes.  He spent hours perfecting a CD with pictures from a vacation.  First it contained just the pictures, then he discovered how to add music.  Everyone chided him for spending so much time on the same CD.  Eventually he figured out how to add vocals as he narrated the trip.  I miss his voice.

Not all jobs can be exciting, but they can be fulfilling when we give it our full attention.  All these people I've mentioned made others feel important.  We need more people like that.  I have made it a practice to put away my phone upon entering the elevator.  Does it induce others to do the same?  No.  I watch heads angled down with thumbs hovering over the screens.  But on the perchance they look up, I can smile - make eye contact.  I want them to feel validated, so as they exit I tell them to have a good day.

Will it make a difference?  For them, I may never know.  For me, I've given myself a human hug to start my day.