Practice What You Preach

My previous blog was on getting rid of "it" and I am happy to say that even my husband took my admonition to heart and went through all his dresser drawers and filled an entire trash bag with who knows what. It took everything in my power not to go through that bag.

Great strides have been made as the other day when he filled a bag of "stuff", I went into the garbage, retrieved the bag, untied it and went through everything. He actually had some good "stuff" that I really should have donated, but wanted to remain supportive of his good efforts. So I was very proud of myself not to even go through the next day's stuff.

I donate regularly, but somehow can't come to grips with giving up everything. However, if I'm going to type for you to get rid of it, then I must practice what I preach and do better with clearing out the clutter. So why do we keep all of our accumulation? Probably out of guilt. "It was a gift", "it's too expensive to give away", "not even the poor would want THAT shirt", "this isn't being green to toss it". The angel of action hovers over one shoulder and the Satan of selfishness sits on the other. Who will win?

Seeing everything go at once is stressful to me. I have no idea why. I don't want it, don't use it, don't need it and could use the space or the money or the feeling of accomplishment by getting it out of the house. Since it hurts to purge everything at one time, here are some thoughts. Take a garbage bag and go through the house once a month, or every other month. Just fill that one bag and donate it. That way, it doesn't appear to be very much stuff you're giving away.

Pick a good charity. A shelter for battered women, the military, a children's home. That way, it feels good knowing that the money raised can help so many causes. And you can even claim it as a deduction.

My church is having a sale to raise funds for school supplies for the local community. I already have a whole list of things I can give for that. The library in town collects books to raise funds to buy materials for the library so I'm thinking of donating a lot of my books to them.

If the thought of just giving it away hurts, think about using EBay. The girl scout uniform pictured at top of page I was able to sell. At a garage sale I would be lucky to get 50 cents, yet on EBay, someone paid me $14 plus shipping. I have sold piggy banks, and Barbie dolls, too. It has been a lot of fun seeing who all bids on items.

Of course, you can also have a garage sale. For me, that's a lot of work and I don't feel like going through the effort of lugging everything out, pricing it, and sitting out on the drive for two days watching people pick over my possessions. And what's the most I could possibly get? Is it really worth all the effort.

Another garage sales of sorts is craigslist. You can just post one item at a time and when it's convenient for you and the person who wants it, you can set up a time for them to come and buy that item from you.

Another organization if love is recycle.com. You can't charge anything, but you have the satisfaction of knowing that you're not filling a landfill. Not only can you post something you don't want, but you can peruse the list for things you might need. I've seen people looking for little boy's tuxes. What a great idea instead of having to buy something he's only going to use once.

Once you start making a habit of donating regularly, it won't hurt as much and it helps curb the desire to go out and buy more "stuff" that will eventually end up in one of those bags you're giving away.

Get Rid of It!

Okay, so I'm still learning this blog thing. By the time anyone finds my site, or I get enough hits where you can find it on the web, most of my posts will be old. Who's going to go back through six months of old blogs reading everything you've posted. So I've decided it won't matter if my theme gets a little off track.

For today's topic, my thoughts wander to, when does one become "old", act "old", look "old"? For me it started in my 30's. My friend and I were at the movies and we wondered what makes us look old. Do we look this way. Looking down at my large purse balanced on my knees, I'm like, "yeh, we look old."

Sorry, but I grew up in a practical era. Purchasing items for need, not want. My purse had to be neutral, which means I've only bought either black, brown, tan or navy. Couldn't be so big you'd develop back problems carrying it, but not so small as to not be able to carry needed items. You know, gum, tissues, nail clippers, makeup, wallet, pens, candy, mail, bills, book to read at lunch, house keys, car keys, poop bags for the dog, an apple for a snack at work, um, what else? And you thought Mary Poppins' bag had a lot of stuff in it?

Speaking of purses, you had to have shoes. Woo-hoo; let's see they have to match so that would be, oh yeah, black, brown, tan or navy. I am a walking fashion faux pas. I'm not sure I was cool when it was even my time to be cool.

You know the day you realize your old, is the day those around you have no idea who you're talking about. It used to be funny when I was the one who was 20 and my co-workers were ancient, somewhere around 35. But one day it happened to me. I was talking about Ann Landers, when my co-worker had a deer-in-the-headlights look and said, "who?" I'm thinking, "Come on! It's Ann freakin' Landers!!" Everyone went to Ann for their problems or at least read her column so you would know your problems weren't as weird as those writing to her. That day was a crushing blow to my ego.

Now, my last blog said to accept thyself. But it's also okay to have a goal. We shouldn't just throw in the towel and give up. But I'm not making this blog one of those improve yourself, reach for the stars and be a better person. We are already okay the way we are. Just do try new things for the fun of it, the joy of it.

Somewhere I read a column about getting rid of all the things that you think you need to do, read, be. Took me a while to understand that, but looking around the house realized how many of the "classics" in paperback were just waiting to be read for the last 15 years. If they haven't been read by now, get rid of them. Go to the library if you get a urge to read "Wuthering Heights".

How about those clothes that you know you'll just squeeze into if you just lose about 20 pounds. Get rid of it! There are so many charities in need of good clothing. It's a shame to have them hanging around collecting dust and just making you feel bad because you haven't lost that weight yet. By the time you do, is it something you really want to wear anyway?

What else is lurking in those closets? Probably magazines you want to read, or you at least trimmed out the articles so it wouldn't take as much space, but I bet you still haven't read them. Christmas cards and pictures of people's kids that have been sent to you. You feel guilty to throw them out, don't you? Wait, you could make a great album, and put each family in chronological order so you could thumb through them years from now. Will you? Get rid of it!

And speaking of getting rid of things, dump that mental baggage, too. Those regrets long harbored, the mistakes, the I should-ofs, and the only if I could-ofs. It's okay. Like a potter, it has shaped us into the weird and wonderful person we have become. I only mention about getting rid of those things that we're saving hoping to be the person we should be. Instead, let's save the things that celebrate the person we are. It's okay if you haven't learned to play the piano, or written that novel. I bet everyone has someone that thinks the world of you, just the way you are right now.

Wanted to add some inspiring quotes. Since we're just starting this journey, today's quote is: "Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age." Victor Hugo. Let's celebrate our new youth!

Accept Thyself

When thinking about creating a blog, I had so many ideas swimming through my head. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I could hardly fall asleep with all the wonderful tidbits I was impelled to share. It had to be funny, poignant, captivating.

What to share first? Childlessness, innovative ways to be green, menopause. But sad thoughts came, funny thoughts came, my gosh, this was making no sense. Thus, welcome to my world. I am 50 and I am no nearer to knowing what I want to do when I grow up than when I was 12.

About a year ago, I joined Facebook. At first, it was exciting. Re-discovering old connections. I would just sit and think of people whose paths I've crossed. I always used to wish I had a crystal ball just so I could see what people were up to. Not necessarily wanting to talk, just to see where they were. And then along came Facebook. Voile! Now you could find all those people you always wondered about.

However, it quickly became discouraging. Everyone was so successful. They had children, grandchildren, written books, travelled the world. And here I was playing games and wishing I could do all those things. Then I realized, "Hey, they're all sitting at their computers reading about everyone else." Suddenly I didn't feel so bad after all.

Why do I mention Facebook? While some of my Facebook friends are younger, there are those who are older, but many are nearer my age. After reading so many posts each day, I have come to the conclusion we are all searching. Making sense of our past, re-discovering our present, planning our future.

So on that note, perhaps I will write 50 suggestions on being a more successful 50. The first is, accept thyself. This is it baby, what mistakes have been made, have been made. Get over it. My friend's husband always said, "This ain't no dress rehearsal; this is the live performance."

Are we giving up? Heck no! As Popeye would say, "I yam who I yam."

This year I turned 50. Why is that such a corner-turning age? Probably because one has lived longer than the amount of time left to live. Unless, of course, you become one of the growing number of octogenarians.

What has been accomplished? Who's life have I inspired? Is it narcissistic to even feel the need to accomplish something to make life worthwhile? Never having had children, my saved treasures are pointless, such as the cast of my teeth during the braces era. Thought that would be great for a science project. The poetry I wrote as a young girl. My favorite Nancy Drew books. It all dies with me. So now I go through the house monthly and collect a bag of things to donate. I don't see the point in keeping all of this. Lately I have been reflecting a lot and hope to make some sense of my life.

So I have come up with Phooey on Phifty. It is time to become the fabulous person we have kept hidden inside for so long. How do we do that? That's to be determined in the course of this blog. For now, step one is, the realization we are no longer 20. Even if you have the body, it's just plain sad when to see a 50 year old with a thong crawling out the back of her pants. So embrace this decade. We'll discuss the wonderful stages we as woman encounter, yet persevere.

As Helen Reddy said, "I am woman; hear me roar!"